Friday, February 11, 2011


I've decided that war and terrorism is a bit narrow, so I'm expanding my blog to contain information on current events as well. With that little announcement, here's the latest in parenting:

Mouthy kids murdered by mental mom! Try saying that tens times fast. We've all mouthed off to our parents once or twice, haven't we? I know I have. I remember very clearly saying the f-word in front of my mom; she backhanded me so hard, she busted my lip. I'm not trying to say she's some horrible monster of a mother. but man, that sure did look bad in pictures. So yeah, most of us have been rude to our parents a time or two. Does this necessitate death? I think not.

This Florida woman premeditated and killed her two teenage kids. Her husband? He's overseas, fighting a war. Her family? In Texas. It's hard enough having myself and my teenage sister with both of my parents here; with my dad gone, it's enough to make any person crazy. It's said that the grandmother called police and told them that her daughter was depressed. What kind of police check up on a depressed person? I'm convinced that the grandmother knew. Why didn't she do something to help?

And this article wasn't where I first heard the story. Fulfilling my roles as dutiful and charming cashier at my local grocery store, I noticed the story on the front of a slightly-more-reputable-than-a-tabloid magazine. Inside were details from the daughter's friend, about how the son was addicted to pornography at age 13, and how the daughter flaunted revealing clothing in front of her mother, taunting her and bragging about how she was too old to wear them. Uh, 13? Pornography? This reminds me of a similar case, in which an 11 year old girl had too much internet access, and gave the masses her teensy jailbait body.

What kind of parent doesn't regulate what their kid is exposed to? That's just reckless. I'm old enough that I can view whatever content I want; however, on our t.v. and our computer, my mother has installed restrictions and firewalls to block access to adult material. These parents that are not paying attention to their children are responsible for what they do, whether they know about it or not. Jessi Slaughter's parents were responsible for her actions, not the forums that trolled her. Julie Schenecker was responsible for her children's behavior, no one else. That 20 year old who drank 4lokos and shot himself, and now the parents are suing the company? Yeah, it's their fault for not teaching their kid to be responsible.

I recently read an article that warns against new parents baby-proofing their homes; instead, they should put some non-important items around, but teach the baby that some things are off limits. These parents should have done exactly that. These kids didn't appreciate life, their parents, or mature behavior, because they had been "baby-proofed". I'm starting to think that Tiger Mom has the right idea.

Questions? Comments? Testimonies?


  1. I think that regulating what your kid views and watches is important to an extent. There's also a point where you can't shelter them, and need to let them learn for themselves that they aren't ready to see it.

    When I was 7 or 8, I remember going onto, and immediately running to my mom to tell her I did something bad. She told me what I did, that I shouldn't do it again, and I didn't.

    I think putting restrictions on what your child does is pointless and authoritarian, instead, monitoring your child's activities, and then telling them that what they did wasn't right, and that they shouldn't do it again. But not only that, you need to tell them -why- it wasn't right. Tell them that that webpage is for grown ups and when they are a grown up they will understand it.

    In Psychology, that is the kind of parent you want to be. You want to explain things to your kids, not just "because I said so", but give them a logical reason and build the foundation for their brain, and instead of being distant parents with lots of rules, have lots of logical rules, and expectations of those rules. But that doesn't mean you can't hold your child up and help them succeed, you need to still be loving and caring, but don't tell them what they can and can't do right off the bat.

    Were you ever told not to do drugs? Did you do them? The adrenaline rush of doing something wrong is addictive. You don't want to give your kids that feeling. Instead, you want to tell them the reasons not to do them, and that when the time is right, they can make the choice for themselves. There's no need for rules you can't explain.

    I could go on about this forever. :)

  2. While small children should be protected, they should also be taught how to protect themselves- on the internet as well as in real life. Teaching children who are old enough to use a computer unassisted that some websites and places on the internet are not for younger viewers is a good step, but for some children will just make them more curious. Telling them why, and explaining these things seems to be a much better way of going about it, instead of acting like sex and adult material is taboo.

    Talking to children who are at the age for the sex talk may be uncomfortable for parents, but it's much easier to do that than to just leave the child feeling like s/he is wrong for being curious, and who will later try to find out in secret (on the internet or through pornography).

    Additionally, with the gaining foothold of "abstinence only" sex education, which has shown to be time and time again to be ineffectual, talking to children about protecting themselves sexually has also been whittled down to the parents. And, if the parents are uncomfortable with talking about sexual safety (or are somehow in denial about their children becoming sexual individuals later in life) the education is left entirely to the child. Unfortuantely, this happens a lot more than any of us would like to think. I personally have had to tell younger people that yes, you can in fact get pregnant your first time having sex. You can get pregnant on your period, and you can get any number of diseases through many means.

    I have a lot of problems with parental controls on computers (NetNanny and similar programs). My big huge issue is that while these programs do block porn and other adult material, they also block things like rape support websites, abuse information, and battered women's support. True, children shouldn't have to go to these websites, but if a child is experiencing any of these things, they should be able to access information and help.

  3. @amends

    sometimes, it's not always best to wait until your child experiences the behavior in question. What if it's something that could hurt them. They break something and cut themselves; now that they are injured, it's too late to warn them about the dangers of breaking the object. They drink tons of alcohol and shoot themselves; it's too late to warn them about the dangers of underage drinking. While that adrenaline rush comes from unexplained rules, it's very easy to explain why not to do lots of things. Pornography addictions can ruin the way you view and interact with people. Exposing yourself on the internet can destroy your life. Doing drugs irresponsibly can kill you. Wouldn't it be better to have rules and restrictions that are logically explained, rather than guidelines that when crossed produce outcomes that are unfixable?

  4. @ eloquentdm,

    I agree that parents should not be relying on schools to educate their children thoroughly on sex, and that they should take an active role in explaining to them the dangers and precautions that exist. However, I feel that children should not be exposed to something that they are too young to understand. I believe that just leads to more confusion, rather than maturity. Sexuality has become an issue when in fact, it should not be one at all. Until one is emotionally mature enough to understand sex, I don't think it should be introduced to children.

    I do agree on your point that this information should be available to children should they for some reason need it. My problem is not so much with the children who are curious about sex, but it is with the parents who neglect to teach and protect them.

  5. How does a mother bring herself to kill her own kids?

  6. @bojanglesk8



    well, look at the circumstances. She was raising two teenagers by herself with no family to help her, her husband is in constant danger of being attacked, and also her kids weren't the greatest. It's also being considered that she was depressed. So, I'm not saying that how she went about it was right, but it's somewhat understandable. Some people choose to solve their problems with drugs, alcohol. therapy. She decided to not solve her problem, but eliminate it in her mind.

  7. nice story,i am bit relieved, my mother not kill me when I was kid

  8. Some people are psychotic, why have kids just to murder them?